Home for the Holidays

You know a holiday is near when the Super-Walmart has dedicated aisle after aisle stocked with Easter baskets, Costco’s hydraulic bustle is accented with display Santa’s ringing a Christmas tune, or the normally vacant parking lot is bursting of pumpkins, hay stacks, and children. I love the holidays so having mine interrupted to come here was hard. But I thought it would have been harder.

I was distracted by the obvious: new surroundings, new friends, new family, new language, and didn’t have the reminders of white icicle lights or Starbucks advertising my favorite “gingerbread lattes.” Instead I had a semi-cold beer while watching the sunset over Conakry’s murky coastline and wished Jesus a Happy Birthday.

I look back and can’t believe that was almost a year ago. It didn’t occur to me that I didn’t have a real Christmas. I felt like I finally got to celebrate Christmas last month with the celebration of the end of Ramadan. After the head imam in Conakry declared the fast to be over I knew I was in for a treat when I took a chair and headed to the entrance of the village. I sat among the griots (my family) in a newly constructed concession of huts and played a cowbell for over an hour while N fa beat the taama, N na sang out of a megaphone, and my brother (a famous griot) played the balaphone. We called the whole village to celebrate under the blanket of night illuminated only by our flashlights. The old ladies managed to get me to join them to dance which is normally not a hard feat, but old lady dancing is very intimidating. Picture lots of billowy fabric and a rendition of “The Excorcist.” The women look like they are possessed as they flap their arms frantically, often being escorted to the sidelines for fear of over exertion but more to just be part of the act. I did my best impersonation while laughing, playing in my head the part of the movie where Emily Rose spins her head in a full 360 degrees. My 30 second performance wasn’t worthy of a nomination but I did get 500 GNF (approx. 10 cents) thrown at me! As we headed back N fa told me we would be drumming again tomorrow morning at 7 AM in our concession. I felt like it was Christmas Eve that night.

But instead of celebrating the end of Ramadan I opened my door to 20 silent Kouyate (my last name) men facing Mecca. I was confused expecting drums and singing like the night before but instead received a somber atmosphere. Something happened and I already know before N fa approached my hut. As I sat with the mother who just delivered the dead baby ( her second infant mortality this year) I was shocked that she was sitting up in her bed crying but seeming physically strong. I gave what benedictions I knew in Malinke like, “May Allah cool the earth of the recently buried,” and sat rubbing the mother’s back while women of the village made their rounds. There would be no music and dancing today.

But there was praying. Instead of going to the mosque the whole village went to my favorite spot. There is a huge clearing surround by mango trees that overlooks the vast Niger River. But what makes it even more special is this grand Baobab tree that has to be over hundreds of years old. Before my morning run I walk to the tree and touch it reminding me of my purpose here. It’s here the whole village has congregated, dressed in their finest, facing the bright river’s sun touched ripples. That memory will always be a special one during my service here.

The rest of the day was spent eating lots of meat, giving money or candy to kids saying, “I Sali ma fo,” and listening to their laughter as they chased the man who sings the call to prayer throughout the village. All the kids were clean wearing their new clothes and I realized that this was a day for the kids just like how Christmas has become for my family back in the States.

Gifts become less important as you grow older. What matters is being together with the ones you love. It’s about mom’s extravagant taste in decorations and dad’s unwillingness to flood his simple home with 4 ft. nutcrackers, it’s about Russ and Christian competing for the biggest man title by trying to out eat each other, it’s about my sisters’ and my doubts of breaking out the karaoke machine knowing we’ll fall asleep to my mom singing “Phantom of the Opera” (yes, we’re Asian). It’s about indulging in Cerisa’s surprisingly healthy pumpkin chocolate chip scones or Charmela’s not so healthy honey basted croissants straight from the oven. Oh the eating. It took me a week to resume my normal eating habits. I would come back from the market with bananas and set them on my table and stare at them until I realized they were game. I never enjoyed eating during daylight hours so much!

Ramadan was a really good experience despite how it started. I learned a lot about this culture and a lot about myself. There are times when I walk around and forget I’m not black which has pros and cons. It’s good because I feel comfortable and well integrated but bad because I don’t want to take this experience for granted. That’s why I remind myself of my past life and create commonalities like the holidays. Ramadan was my Easter, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year. No matter how different cultures appear to be there are the same themes of fasting for forgiveness, trick or treating/I Sali ma fo-ing, showing gratitude through gifts, celebrating life and death, and creating resolutions. Finding the universal truths of life shows me how to be at home in any situation by keeping family close in your heart. You can’t be homesick when you’re at home. Or better said by my Guinean friend Moussa who learned English in Ghana, “ Da house of someone YOU love, it tis nevuh fa!”